This past weekend was fall free days and no one was on the floor, so it gave me a lot of time to reflect on life and this past year on a whole. As I was soul searching and such, I realized something very important. I was happiest most when I had random surprises (good and bad) thrown in my direction. I am a control freak, I need to know what's going on at all times and when it is going to happen and all the little details because I want to be in control no matter what. When life throws surprises at me, it is so unexpected and it's when I can't see, I can see God and His plan for me, which is a beautiful thing. I have made the most beautiful and unforgettable memories in these times and now as I am back in control again, I long for that blind bliss. This summer I was so blind to my future and I was completely okay with it. It didn't scare me like it usually does, and now as I am looking back, I wish that I had done things differently because if I had, I bet that I would be a lot more happy than I am right now (this is not to say that I am not happy right now).
More recently, I was given the opportunity to an event that could potentially enhance my career but I had cheerleading at the same time. I had missed the week before and this weekend was horrible because I had both sides tearing at me with the pros and cons of the situation and in this time of conflict, I didn't see God like I expected. I think He probably wanted to show me that I really do need Him and that I cannot always be the one in charge (--actually I should never be in charge). In the end I decided to go to the job event but I still felt horrible for letting my squad down for the second time in a row. But this was one of those last minute surprises and as a friend put it "You gotta do what you gotta do". I am very grateful for these random surprises and I cannot wait for the next one thrown my way!
Moral: Embrace life''s surprises with blindness and trust that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.
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